So

I guess I'll just drink some coffee and stay awake. It's 6 am already. I should probably stop sleeping all day.

shots for the book..so fun. zombies in the cane field will come soon.
Super bored these days..but school starts in a few days. I'm sure that will solve that.

Last night I had dreams of tornadoes,, flying..awkward.
Even marines were involved.

Almost time to go back to New Orleans.

Awkward trimmings

Crossed looks meet
muscles tense
and fingers freeze
Like a deer in headlights,

Reaching out blindly.
Connection, connect.
Together. Breathe.
Tentatively touching your hand
Searching, gently, breathless again.
Holding it in.

Is it safe to sigh?
Clearing my throat
I turn to you
Wondering if you are feeling
as awkward
as me.

Minutes soothe the tension
Or perhaps we adjust
Alter. Adaption.
But evolution?
I think not.
We continue to travel backwards
through time.

Fingers squeeze.
Reassurance. Hope.
Please?
Promise? Mutual admission.
Aceceptance.
We let out a long breath
and start all over again.

Not sure why I'm still awake..

I guess I have a few dreams I'd like to jot down..but my brain is so tired I'm not sure I'm up for it. 
One strange thing that happened was I dreamt last night about Marion and Christine's new apartment. I dreamt that they moved everything into the kitchen before cleaning. When I opened cuboards there was dust and bug remaints all over their "clean" cups and things. So I started a massive dish cleaning operation. Then I woke up with the thought in my mind that they didn't have a dishwasher. I tried to think back to the apartment the night before....stove..check...fridge...check...dishwasher? I called my sister early in the morning. They do not in fact have a dishwasher. It's so strange that on some level I noticed that without noticing it and it manifested in a dream. Brains are really amazing.

I've had some detailed dream states lately but I can't recall them at this time. I've been playing a video game for hours and I'm quite lethargic at this moment. However I did receive 2 letters today, one from Richard (Tem) and one from The Best Amanda. I wrote both of them back. Amanda's letter may be too big for the post..I stuffed the envelope. We'll see. I hate sending things throught the post because I have to balance it in the slit in my door in order for the mailperson to take it and most of the time they don't, anyway. So then I have to wait by the door until they come and chase after them basically. It's silly. Want a mailbox, pls.
Just one more week then I'm home again, for good. Matt has been moody. He says it's because I'm moody but I"m not, I'm super happy. Just around him I'm wary b/c he seems moody to me. We really both live too much in our paranoid heads...so when we finally come together we are both worried about the other for no reason really. It's retarded.



Other news....Slightly cloudy days ahead. Tomorrow is the red dress run...6000 men wear red dresses, get drunk, and run through new orleans streets. Should be wonderful. I only brought my digital camera with me though so I don't expect any impressive pictures. Oh well.

Tomorrow night is Dirty Linen night...Art galleries and wine and cheese and things in the Warehouse District.

That's all for now. Peace and Chicken grease.

Is it weird that I still think about my high school teacher crush?

I had a dream last night that Quinn Moreaux saved me from this institutional school. It was very complex. I had to sit in a certain chair, get on first in the back of the bus. Then I had to ask to brush my teeth, then I had to get toothpaste from Quinn and he handed me a key, secretly. Then I opened the window in the back of the bus and pretended like I was brushing my teeth. When the headmaster lady wasn't looking, Quinn snuck to the back and hid behind the last seat. Then he "took out" the headmaster without anyone looking. We dumped her body behind the seat and when the bus docked I used the key to open the back door and we escaped into a car.

Then we were together.

Heh. Teacher crush. Sure was strong...

Redfish

I dreamt that I was working at Redfish again. Mrs. Sophia knew English and she never stopped giving orders, just like I imagined she would  if she ever learned. Everything came back to me so naturally, the feeling of the dough, the cutting, the making of the food. I don't think I've ever known a job that well in my life.

I was....peaceful with the idea of working there again.

My dreams have been very practical lately. I wish they would become whimsical again. I don't want to dream about working unless a dragon or an elf is involved. Perhaps I need to play more video games before bedtime.

Math, math math today. Le Sigh. Soon it will be over. Just 3 more days. 3 more days.

Artings.

So I'm stuck on the idea of pencil. I, LOVE pencil. I like the way I write with it; it's sharpness; the ability to erase. No ugly smudges or lined out ink. However, the project I'm working on just doesn't look polished in pencil. Which makes me infinitely sad, because I really really don't want to use a pen. I'm trying to think of other options for writing small words on a sheet of paper, but I hate colored pencils even more. The best idea would have been to print it out...but I like the handmade look of it that emerges with my pencil writing. I guess I can't have both worlds. It's really a rough project, very simple, but I am starting small before I move on to greater things. Gotta do the basics before you become an expert.

(Also, interesting fact, we just learned in Psych of Learning that it takes 10 years of full time work (That's 40 hours a week) to become an expert in something.)

I've been feeling pretty creative lately. I think it's a lot of me not being able to do anything because of school for so long. Just math and psych, doesn't leave a lot of room for my creative side. My psych classes this summer have mostly been history, which isn't creative at all, though I enjoyed learning about Electroshock therapy and how crazy some of the ways were of treating patients. It's really like a journey into the dark side. What were they thinking in the 30s. Even the 70s. They didnt know wtf they were doing. They actually cut out someone's entire temporal lobes. Then they were surprised when he had no long term memory.

Hmm.

Let's learn about the brain before we start chopping pieces off, shall we?
Ethics now, you can't do whatever you want. Which is good for the patients but a bit sad for the excitement of psychology...at one time it was akin to being an explorer in an uncharted land. Now it's more like being a doctor with a precise instrument that has to clear every move with a board of approval.


So I got my Diana camera in. It's so light. I didn't expect that. I'm so bored with taking pictures by myself though. I need a crew. At least a partner. Emily....if she was only closer....I guess I'll just have to take advantage of this month and take as many pictures of her/with her as I can while I"m out of school. I have some ideas. I need to see what this camera is capable of, first.

I wish everyone would just move here. Why do they want to live in such a shitty town anyway...work work work what about culture? Beauty? There is work here also.

So I didn't blog about the oil in the Gulf and Marshes, and I'm so sick of talking/hearing about it that I don't have much to say, except that yes it basically changed everything here.

I had a disturbing dream last night, but I don't recall it. Tonight I'll try to remember....

All for now, tomorrow is math day extraordinaire. I'm really feeling very serious these days.