Listen..

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

ahah

I also had a dream where we were in the swamp, me, chris landry, and another guy. they kept throwing rocks at this giant alligator and guess what? the alligator came to eat us. stupid boys. well we ran and got to a door and i opened it but chris was the last one through and the alligator ate his ass. i closed the door on him. then later opened it and all i saw was blood.

the rest of that dream was interesting but it's lost b/c of the intensity of the one i had right before i woke.

dreams

Last night I dreamt I was on a gondola, and new orleans was like Venice. It was the most beautiful city I've ever seen, so full of color and it was during mardi gras. the parades were to be on the canals, but we were early and were one of the only gondalas passing t hrough the city. but the parade goers were still on the balconies and they would throw us beads as we screamed for them. It was gorgeous and amazing..I wish I could paint b/c I would paint it. I was with my family, well, marion and mom at least.

Our gondala driver led us down a passageway where the houses began to look all alike and there were only women and children sadly and quietly standing on the balconies. then we came to a dark alley where a cop stopped our driver and started investigating his licenses. I realized something was off and he wasn't a real cop, then i noticed the driver dissapeared on a bike and I called him out on it, then his friends came out of the dark and they wanted to rape us and put us in those houses. Something happened though...this one guy was curious about us and he brought us back to this semi-inhabited area and I had to hold my sistser's dying naked body close to me while I backtracked on my ass through a house filled with trash and water to try to get to freedom, all the time him watching me like a specimen, yet I had the feeling that he may let us go eventually if I got there. It was the hardest trek of my life.

In the beginning of the dream, when we were traveling down st. charles on gondala, I asked my sister if she could record with her camera and she said yes, but something was going wrong, some issue she didnt' know aobut and we were coming to the end and I told her nevermind and whipped out my camera phone and recorded this way.

I realized how much like my father I am in those instances...he never had the patience to wait if there was something going on he had to capture it and fast..and I remember feeling a bit...cut off sharply on the other end of that, but he would warm up again as soon as we got there or were in the moment. I realize I do the same thing...and probably hurt people for a moment then capture them again. Wow.

13 very very long days.

when will i see you again?