We were together. I forget the rest.

I'm thinking of getting this tattooed on me...but also, I'm considering getting it as a divorce ring for Turgay. Emily could engrave it for me. I feel like I need closure on a positive note with that relationship in my life. I was such a child.

I'm also thinking of getting some kind of commitment ring for Matt. I would say engagement ring but honestly I'm years away from being ready to get married again. I just want something that says, "I love you, and I'm in this for the long run." I was looking through my old posts on here and in one of them, I said I just wished I could find someone who loved me as much as I loved them, and was good to me. And then the universe provided Matt, or he provided himself, whatever you believe, he's in my life. And he's fucking great to me and loves me in such a healthy and positive way man. I've never been loved like that before. Not desperately, but quietly, deeply.

This break has been rocky for me. I've realized that I cannot function with only one person in my life whom I love. But I think I'm also coming to the realization that I can have friends, good ones, great ones, with whom I can do amazing things without dealing with jealousy from Matt, because he understands that he doesn't fill certain roles in my life. At least I think he understands that...I plan on talking to him about it..nothing ever should go unspoken. He acts like he understands it, and treats me with freedom and respect, for the most part.

Anyway. I read a lot of Pablo Neruda tonight. The man is my new favorite poet.

Things are good.