late summer daydream
i watched the rain fall softly,
not a real storm,
more like a wedge driven
beneath the sun
to break the sweet summer heat.
lightning flashed,
thunder softly whispered in the sky,
as if afraid to startle the clouds,
into a real evening shower.
i raised my eyes through the warm sticky air,
and peeked through soft, wet lashes,
droplets fell from eyebrows,
bare feet pushed the swing.
I thought of you in the rhythm
and the sway of your lips.
My eyes closed gently
flashes of electric memory
played home movies,
behind eyelids in the afternoon.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
some stuff i almost lost 3
i held him.
I lied there, and felt my arm
wrapped around his body,
his breath, in..out....in..out..
his life's rhythm.
I held him gently,
though he's enough to substain
the weight of my love
draped across his warm breast.
I closed my eyes,
and indulged in my love,
tender, needy like a child,
i held him.
I lied there, and felt my arm
wrapped around his body,
his breath, in..out....in..out..
his life's rhythm.
I held him gently,
though he's enough to substain
the weight of my love
draped across his warm breast.
I closed my eyes,
and indulged in my love,
tender, needy like a child,
i held him.
some stuff i almost lost 2
poetic justice
i thought this was amazing...everyone did such a great job.
if you want to post yours underneath please feel free. i wish all bulletins were like this!
Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only SIX WORDS.
The result was "For sale: baby shoes, never used."
(http://smithmag.net/sixwords/)
Here's an interesting and challenging activity. Try to compose YOUR story (the story of YOU) in EXACTLY six words (no more, no less). For some, this may be painful. (It's very hard to tell your whole story in six words.)
Just to see what we come up with, maybe we could do one of those add-on things and Copy this bulletin and paste it into a new one with yours. Then post the bulletin as "".
Carin: Lives planned perfectly will imperfectly unfold.
Kayla: Fate lay in dreams yet realized.
Dre: Life's easy with your eyes shut.
Keigh: Appreciate mistakes for what they are!
EJ: Many pages turned, very little read.
Colby: A moment of clarity never rendered.
Moot: They've swollen, the size of softballs!
Herb: What sucks now will always suck.
Larry: I came, I saw, I drank.
King Iggy: Born to raise hell, then died.
Nicole: Life is full of little dissapointments.
Mike J: I wonder what else I forgot.
Mandy: The future starts today, not tomorrow.
Arie: Water is actually, with persuasion, flammable.
Kris: Live, love, dream, and be happy.
Jessica: All this work for one screw.
james: SALE: parachute, used once - small stain
Bagheera: I'm still learning how to breathe.
Brandice: Even teachers must never stop learning
Brandy: My mind is a blank scrapbook
Katy: Living is much more than breathing.
Chuck: Find my way proves very difficut.
Caity: Dreams come true in baffling ways.
Sarah: Crazy cat lady seeks true love.
MANDYLAND: (PLAGIARIZING) THE ROAD IS LONG AND WINDING.
Eric: Playing the cards I was dealt.
Chelsea: Had directions, so I'm going elsewhere
Dano:He entertained none more than himself.
Phillip: Donny, you're out of your element.
Cho: Hey, where the white women at?!
::Jacki-OH:: Move bitch, get out the way.
Camille: Low flying social butterfiles die young
Brandon: Lost in space, room mate wanted.
Collette: Repeating same actions, expecting different results.
Steve: Steve is funny, funny don't pay.
Kanani: Expected to return as a Manatee.
Mr. Brightside: Orphan blossoms to bestseller, seeks enlightenment.
Celia: Twirling wide open, fear and all.
El Ghost Host: Never stopped laughing, even through tears
tamar- full plate. empty chair.spilled milk.
Mr.Paz®: Singing Lounge versions of elevator music.
~Kari~: Love, nothing but a fairy tale........
{Cori} How about Chocolate and wine, sis?????
CherylJ. ~ Appreciate the miracles. Forget the rest.
Taryn Darkness fell, now there's only light
Amanda~ It's all written in The Book
Jessica: Aww hell no!.. this is it?
Amanda K. ~ I lived it according to ME!
Selina ~ I love my life right now!
Stephanie ~ It hurts, keeping it all inside
Que- Life's a bitch, then you die!
Rhonda - For sale; used heart, slightly dead.
Elizabeth: Life is learned through agaphy love.
Lauren: Ernest Hemingway did a better job.
Asian Cajun: My lucky break has been broken.
Joey: I've been everywhere, but haven't left
Jenny: Live love breathe sweat hurt hope.
i thought this was amazing...everyone did such a great job.
if you want to post yours underneath please feel free. i wish all bulletins were like this!
Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only SIX WORDS.
The result was "For sale: baby shoes, never used."
(http://smithmag.net/sixwords/)
Here's an interesting and challenging activity. Try to compose YOUR story (the story of YOU) in EXACTLY six words (no more, no less). For some, this may be painful. (It's very hard to tell your whole story in six words.)
Just to see what we come up with, maybe we could do one of those add-on things and Copy this bulletin and paste it into a new one with yours. Then post the bulletin as "".
Carin: Lives planned perfectly will imperfectly unfold.
Kayla: Fate lay in dreams yet realized.
Dre: Life's easy with your eyes shut.
Keigh: Appreciate mistakes for what they are!
EJ: Many pages turned, very little read.
Colby: A moment of clarity never rendered.
Moot: They've swollen, the size of softballs!
Herb: What sucks now will always suck.
Larry: I came, I saw, I drank.
King Iggy: Born to raise hell, then died.
Nicole: Life is full of little dissapointments.
Mike J: I wonder what else I forgot.
Mandy: The future starts today, not tomorrow.
Arie: Water is actually, with persuasion, flammable.
Kris: Live, love, dream, and be happy.
Jessica: All this work for one screw.
james: SALE: parachute, used once - small stain
Bagheera: I'm still learning how to breathe.
Brandice: Even teachers must never stop learning
Brandy: My mind is a blank scrapbook
Katy: Living is much more than breathing.
Chuck: Find my way proves very difficut.
Caity: Dreams come true in baffling ways.
Sarah: Crazy cat lady seeks true love.
MANDYLAND: (PLAGIARIZING) THE ROAD IS LONG AND WINDING.
Eric: Playing the cards I was dealt.
Chelsea: Had directions, so I'm going elsewhere
Dano:He entertained none more than himself.
Phillip: Donny, you're out of your element.
Cho: Hey, where the white women at?!
::Jacki-OH:: Move bitch, get out the way.
Camille: Low flying social butterfiles die young
Brandon: Lost in space, room mate wanted.
Collette: Repeating same actions, expecting different results.
Steve: Steve is funny, funny don't pay.
Kanani: Expected to return as a Manatee.
Mr. Brightside: Orphan blossoms to bestseller, seeks enlightenment.
Celia: Twirling wide open, fear and all.
El Ghost Host: Never stopped laughing, even through tears
tamar- full plate. empty chair.spilled milk.
Mr.Paz®: Singing Lounge versions of elevator music.
~Kari~: Love, nothing but a fairy tale........
{Cori} How about Chocolate and wine, sis?????
CherylJ. ~ Appreciate the miracles. Forget the rest.
Taryn Darkness fell, now there's only light
Amanda~ It's all written in The Book
Jessica: Aww hell no!.. this is it?
Amanda K. ~ I lived it according to ME!
Selina ~ I love my life right now!
Stephanie ~ It hurts, keeping it all inside
Que- Life's a bitch, then you die!
Rhonda - For sale; used heart, slightly dead.
Elizabeth: Life is learned through agaphy love.
Lauren: Ernest Hemingway did a better job.
Asian Cajun: My lucky break has been broken.
Joey: I've been everywhere, but haven't left
Jenny: Live love breathe sweat hurt hope.
some stuff i almost lost!!!zomg. 1
a glimpse of understanding, a dream for men.
Current mood: calm
I had a dream last night that I had a girlfriend. I'm not sure what sex I was, but I believe I was a man because, how can I say, I didn't have the emotional paranoia and extreme moodiness of a girl. I was relaxed. My dream took place in a comfortable bar like setting. My girlfriend was sitting in a booth next to me and I was very content and relaxed with just feeling the love and affection she gave me. Then she got up to use the restroom, and while she was there I got up and went somewhere for a half and hour..I don't really remember where but it was something like to take a shower or something else routine and normal. When I came back to the booth she was gone and I realized that she had gotten upset waiting for me and had thought I had left her so she left. In my head it was a gentle understanding that she would overreact about it and that was it, it passed.
The scene switched to the street..I had done a few things that night and I was walking down the street with my friends. Again, I was extremely relaxed and not anxious about anything. I saw my girlfriend heading toward me and she didn't see me. I playingly touched her elbow to get her attention. She turned around and when she recognized that it was me she freaked out, and started screaming about the situation in the booth. She was being loud and causing a scene and I couldn't explain to her that it was a misunderstanding..actually I didn't want to at the moment because I could see the discomfort it was causing my guy friends, and she was hysterical and completely at a loss of control. I felt a little cold anger and disgust at her behavior and I told her we would talk about it later and I started to walk in the opposite direction with my friends. She screamed fine and then almost as an afterthought told me she threw away her phone so I couldnt call her. Another twinge of anger at how irrational she was, and a realization that I didn't want to be with someone like that.
I honestly don't know how men feel inside, emotionally, but I recognized the girl's behavior of course. It was wonderful to be a man in this dream, and feel so relaxed and just that cold rationality instead of the normal flow of anxiety, paranoia and overload of emotions that run through me on a day to day basis. I've asked my husband how he feels inside like on a normal day and he told me basically relaxed; I imagine it must feel something like I felt in this dream.
I also realized how crazy a woman can seem to a man. So ladies, take it easy on your men, I really don't think they feel the same things we do, it can be hard to understand...
Current mood: calm
I had a dream last night that I had a girlfriend. I'm not sure what sex I was, but I believe I was a man because, how can I say, I didn't have the emotional paranoia and extreme moodiness of a girl. I was relaxed. My dream took place in a comfortable bar like setting. My girlfriend was sitting in a booth next to me and I was very content and relaxed with just feeling the love and affection she gave me. Then she got up to use the restroom, and while she was there I got up and went somewhere for a half and hour..I don't really remember where but it was something like to take a shower or something else routine and normal. When I came back to the booth she was gone and I realized that she had gotten upset waiting for me and had thought I had left her so she left. In my head it was a gentle understanding that she would overreact about it and that was it, it passed.
The scene switched to the street..I had done a few things that night and I was walking down the street with my friends. Again, I was extremely relaxed and not anxious about anything. I saw my girlfriend heading toward me and she didn't see me. I playingly touched her elbow to get her attention. She turned around and when she recognized that it was me she freaked out, and started screaming about the situation in the booth. She was being loud and causing a scene and I couldn't explain to her that it was a misunderstanding..actually I didn't want to at the moment because I could see the discomfort it was causing my guy friends, and she was hysterical and completely at a loss of control. I felt a little cold anger and disgust at her behavior and I told her we would talk about it later and I started to walk in the opposite direction with my friends. She screamed fine and then almost as an afterthought told me she threw away her phone so I couldnt call her. Another twinge of anger at how irrational she was, and a realization that I didn't want to be with someone like that.
I honestly don't know how men feel inside, emotionally, but I recognized the girl's behavior of course. It was wonderful to be a man in this dream, and feel so relaxed and just that cold rationality instead of the normal flow of anxiety, paranoia and overload of emotions that run through me on a day to day basis. I've asked my husband how he feels inside like on a normal day and he told me basically relaxed; I imagine it must feel something like I felt in this dream.
I also realized how crazy a woman can seem to a man. So ladies, take it easy on your men, I really don't think they feel the same things we do, it can be hard to understand...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Princess Dumpster
So we have a new cat. Someone gave her to us. Her name is Sasha, aka princess fluffy-face aka princess dumpster. She is a rare white persian.
I like her..although she has nervous habits. She fights demons in her sleep. Much like sleeping next to Theron, actually :P
So work is going well. I made 20 dollars an hour tonight. Not anything to be majorly excited about but still making deposits to my savings. I'm only 7 grand away from a new car. I figure that's about two more months if I don't spend any money..
So for Christmas this year I decided to give to someone who really needs it. I met this girl Robin..she has three sons and she's very broke most of the time. I think I'm going to give her 150 dollars for Christmas so she can give her boys presents. Matt said he'd match whatever I gave her so that means 300 extra for her to spend on her kids. This makes me happy :)
Things are going great with Matt and I...he's the loveliest boy I've ever met. He's so so sweet to me...I can't get over how frackin nice he is to me. Sooo much nicer than most of my ex boyfriends and Turgay.
I'm also going to be a nanny..Marion is pregnant. Really a surprise..all of us though that it would be a problem for her to conceive after her tube bursting and the surgery and everything. But nope..she's 11 weeks now :) She'll see the baby's heartbeat on Wednesday :)
Things are good with the family also...lots of people in and out of this house in New Orleans...lots of love flowing. I love the holidays. It's not feeling like a sweatbox in NO these days either..that's a nice change :)
I like her..although she has nervous habits. She fights demons in her sleep. Much like sleeping next to Theron, actually :P
So work is going well. I made 20 dollars an hour tonight. Not anything to be majorly excited about but still making deposits to my savings. I'm only 7 grand away from a new car. I figure that's about two more months if I don't spend any money..
So for Christmas this year I decided to give to someone who really needs it. I met this girl Robin..she has three sons and she's very broke most of the time. I think I'm going to give her 150 dollars for Christmas so she can give her boys presents. Matt said he'd match whatever I gave her so that means 300 extra for her to spend on her kids. This makes me happy :)
Things are going great with Matt and I...he's the loveliest boy I've ever met. He's so so sweet to me...I can't get over how frackin nice he is to me. Sooo much nicer than most of my ex boyfriends and Turgay.
I'm also going to be a nanny..Marion is pregnant. Really a surprise..all of us though that it would be a problem for her to conceive after her tube bursting and the surgery and everything. But nope..she's 11 weeks now :) She'll see the baby's heartbeat on Wednesday :)
Things are good with the family also...lots of people in and out of this house in New Orleans...lots of love flowing. I love the holidays. It's not feeling like a sweatbox in NO these days either..that's a nice change :)
Monday, October 26, 2009
dreams
I was adopted, and talented in voice. My adopted parents did everything they could to get me into Julliard. It worked. My first day there we are all given instructions "how to find your dorm". The halls are full of lost students. One picks up her violin and starts to play "I could have danced all night." Another violin joins. Then someone starts to sing along. The halls are suddenly full of dancing, singing, playing students like something straight out of a musical.
A 3rd year girl tells me she's seen me before. My dream suddenly becomes mysterious. Could it be a clue as to my past? She takes me through long halls with locked doors. Finally we come upon a library. She finds the book she was looking for. She ruffles through. Among the published short story authors is Teri Duchaine. Only they spelt her name wrong..Duchane.
She doesn't find what she's looking for. She works there, tells me to come back later. I feel a bond with her for some reason.
Flash
I'm in a house. My house. I feel like someone is trying to get to me. I lock the door of the room behind me and find a knife. Suddenly, I notice it's slightly open. I open the door and peek into the hall and I see my teddy bear, trying to walk on his feet. He can only take a few steps then he falls down. I walk up to him and ask him where he is going. He says it's been a long time but it's time for him to return to the store.
A 3rd year girl tells me she's seen me before. My dream suddenly becomes mysterious. Could it be a clue as to my past? She takes me through long halls with locked doors. Finally we come upon a library. She finds the book she was looking for. She ruffles through. Among the published short story authors is Teri Duchaine. Only they spelt her name wrong..Duchane.
She doesn't find what she's looking for. She works there, tells me to come back later. I feel a bond with her for some reason.
Flash
I'm in a house. My house. I feel like someone is trying to get to me. I lock the door of the room behind me and find a knife. Suddenly, I notice it's slightly open. I open the door and peek into the hall and I see my teddy bear, trying to walk on his feet. He can only take a few steps then he falls down. I walk up to him and ask him where he is going. He says it's been a long time but it's time for him to return to the store.
Monday, October 12, 2009
silver lining.
I've noticed that since I've been off my BC and Prozac I haven't been in a generally happy mood. MOstly I've been tired and slightly annoyed. However I feel smarter if that is possible.
I'd take happy over smarter most days though. Not that I'm unhappy. I'm just worried about feeling down or annoyed or angry so I'm paranoid about being unhappy. I'm worried about it. Ugh I should just go back on my meds I guess.
I got my health insurance card in the mail today. Going to go online and check to see what doctors I can see. I need to get back on it to lose weight at the least..dating matt has fattened me up. The man wants to eat out every night.
Working is going well. I like most of my managers and such and I made 500 in 2.5 days..so that's good. I'm moving out. I started looking for apartments in New Orleans. I want to live by myself and do whatever the hell I want.
I'd take happy over smarter most days though. Not that I'm unhappy. I'm just worried about feeling down or annoyed or angry so I'm paranoid about being unhappy. I'm worried about it. Ugh I should just go back on my meds I guess.
I got my health insurance card in the mail today. Going to go online and check to see what doctors I can see. I need to get back on it to lose weight at the least..dating matt has fattened me up. The man wants to eat out every night.
Working is going well. I like most of my managers and such and I made 500 in 2.5 days..so that's good. I'm moving out. I started looking for apartments in New Orleans. I want to live by myself and do whatever the hell I want.
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