The light of awareness

The Light of Awareness

You and I were spinning.

(Was I spinning?)

I reached out my arms, bare and long

white and cold, to touch you

but just out of my reach,

you spun away.

And perhaps the thought of an experience

is better than the experience,

once it happens,

I cannot take it back

and it wasn't like it was in my dreams.

It was orange

and pink

and red and brown.

Marks fell around me

and onto my arms.

I wanted you to pull me out of myself.

Instead we danced and

nothing happened.

Less awareness was my intention

but without cooperation I cannot feel myself.

And still you wanted to sit in my car

and talk, and talk while the sun rose.

You never realized there aren't words to say,

I had to kick you out, make you leave, have you see that

I am nothing

I am just a girl who fell from the sky

who needed to break with you

but you insisted on breaking my fall.

And now I see you for who you are

A gentleman-boy. 

I think someone forgot to tell you 

that in order to love

you have to break with another.