My back is killing me!!!

And I just switched to linux..which is NOT compatable with my phone picture program so I guess that means that I'll be posting less pictures :(
I think I'll get a digital camera when I get my school money in.

School is about to start...It amazed me how quickly the summer went by..and what a summer whew.
I still have 4 exams to take from last semester :/

This summer was a joke. Really. Everything that happened was straight from a dream...which was sometimes a nightmare.

I'm still living the repercussions of that nightmare. N I didn't even get to go to the beach ONCE.
I'm still feeling groggy and out of it; I think part of that is my messed up sleep schedule however so I will be rectifying that situation as soon as possible. It includes a fast 12-16 hours before my targeted time to wake up, then resetting my cycle through food.

I'm not really sure what's going on with Guy. We are definitely friends..which is nice..I just don't know what else is going on. ..I can never tell with him. He has these plans and structures in his mind...I know what he wants and hopes for but I can't understand how it could come to pass by indifference towards us at this point.

Anyway, it's nice just to have him in my life. The neighbors are moving out and are going to rent their house (it's broken into two "apartments" like ours) and I'm thinking about renting one with Guy. I don't know how that would work out..I'm not sure if I could handle seeing him with girls..and obviously Matt would be around..and I try to put myself in his shoes..and think what it would be like if my boyfriend lived with his wife that he was separated from, how would I feel? Probably uncomfortable. So, I don't know. I know that he has to move out of his apartment with that dude soon..He's welcome to come here. I guess right now, to me, he feels something more of a best friend/brother, which, whatever, might be what a husband is for all I know.

He's family. That's the bottom line, and family always comes first.

I had the most beautiful dream last night:

I was on a peninsula of sorts...3 sides surrounded by ocean. Some parts were freezing and a half a mile down there would be people sunbathing and splashing about in the water. I rode my around the one road that circled the island near the water. I saw lots of different types of people...some were working in their gardens, some on their cars, some were wearing large hats and yellow bikinis and were obviously tennis moms/debutantes. Different houses, also. I've dreamt of this place before but last time I only saw the right side of it..and it was a bit dark in that dream..night time and I found a house with 7 floors, the middle one being made of lava..ancient elevators...anyway this time it was more like a watercolor. I remember wishing I could show it to Matt...wanting to show him there is a place to live where life could be beautiful and happy.

Then the dream shifted a bit and I had parked my car and taken my bike out..it was total country...long windy roads with no one there..Then these giant hedges started to appear..like in a secret garden...with flowers forming a closed overhang and pathway through the forest..it was so beautiful..but I do remember being afraid of getting lost..not knowing which way was north or south..or where I left my car. Then Chris Landry showed up, looking for his step mother's house, and I hid behind a bush and called out his name. He looked different..like I hadn't seen him in a long time.
The whole part of that dream was very surreal and well, dreamlike.

Then I woke up to Guy..banging on my door...I thought it was John for a minute and I panicked a bit.

I'm in operation avoid John atm. For obvious reasons.

Today just went to Cox Cable to get the box for my mom..she finally bitched enough at me about the channel availability..even though I told her she can watch everything her heart desires online..I suppose it's not the same. Guy came with me..then we ordered pizza..and I did my fafsa and he left. Glad I finally go that done..school starts in a week. Supposedly it only takes 4 days to process..I sure hope so b/c I was supposed to do it in January :/

Total slacking.

So Matt's really funny...I told him to make blueberry eggs last night and he did. He's also on a no carb all saturated fat diet..I don't know lol..he says he's already lost 2% body fat since starting it. He actually ate a bar of butter for dinner, with some carrots and a beef/tomato drink.

I have to laugh..because anyone else and it would be a joke..but he has no shame..the boy has no shame. Which makes me laugh so much...I mean wtf.

Next he says are horse steroids and some kind of appetite suppressant..this is what happens when you are a scientist at heart and bored. You end up experimenting on yourself.

I told him no way I'm coming around him for Roid week. crazy boy.