Can't sleep

As usual.

Though Max is crashed. Tomorrow (er, Today when I wake up..) needs to be a super productive day...I intend on getting my take home assignment completed for my Experimental Research and Design class..aka the Devil.

That should take approximately all day and drive me perfectly insane. I also need to write to my prof, before she gives up on me.

Spent the whole day trying to decide whether to move or not...If he wasn't so goddamn cute. jesus.

I can't decide. Responsible thing seems to be to stay here and finish school, work, get a car, save money and be ready to contribute better financially to a relationship, have some stability of my own that I can work off of and make decisions for the future. Like where to get my Masters. Should take me the same amount of time that he'll be in the military for anyhow. And if he deports I'll just be sitting around working not in school and not with him anyway.

I don't think I've ever done the responsible thing before. I'm not even sure how to make that decision. Especially when he smiles. :)

Yes it's that pathetic. N when I fall I fall hard.

Or I could go, wait a year for residency, and finish school in 2.5/3 years from now instead of 1.5/2 years.

The idea of change seems very nice to me at the moment also...I don't like to stay anywhere too long..and I've been here in New Orleans for over 2 years already. I'm not crazy about it here...although there is some magic in this city. I'm totally ready to live somewhere else though.

Damn getting older and thinking like an adult. I don't necessarily like the department at my university...it's not the major..it's the research and science they concentrate on. I'd be more comfortable with a BA than a BS, although in Psych a BS is probably more respected.

Every fiber of my being is rejecting statistical testing and presentations on the exact significance of research though. And that is all they want to focus on. It's annoying.

This totally varies from school to school, though I am aware that I will have to learn that part, I'd rather it not be the "end all" of my department.

So maybe a change in universities would be worthwhile afterall.

I don't know.

Maybe it doesn't matter until you are postgrad anyway.

I'm not happy with the way my grades are turning out this semester. I should have had a lot more A's...in fact this is the first semester that I didn't make all A's in Psych. I've never had less than one. Now I have a C in Motivation and Emotion..that should have been an easy A. And it would have been if I hadn't taken that stupid Research and Design class...that class stressed me out soooo much..I couldn't hang for finals.

N now it's still bearing down on me like a weight. Ugh.

Why didn't I just wait to take it with my cousin. Bah. stupid. stupid decision.

I'm totally rambling now.

Feels good to get it out though. I've been wanting to make collages lately but I feel like I need to get this homework stuff done before I reward myself with something I love, like art.

Also need to start working again..I'm so not looking forward to it. I don't have a problem with work..I have a problem with working and going to school. It blows. School is such a full-time job..seriously it's insane the amount of work you take home. One hour of class means at least 3 hours of homework..take 19 hours, multiply that by 3 and you barely have time to sleep, much less work. I should have married a rich man, at least got paid for this citizenship deal. That's what Jaime did. She's driving around in a convertible BMW and taking all the hours she needs without having to lift a finger to support herself. Of course she's divorced now also so it all worked out to her advantage. Smart girl.

No, I had to marry an artist.

I'm so retarded. www.rword.org. www.Foff.com

I wish I was psychic like Eli Stone. That would be nifty.

Also, I missed So You Think You Can dance tonight watching America's Got Talent. FAIL.