haha

I love how he signs off when he signs in. It's really funny...like I don't know that you are online just because you went invisible.

I'm not going to message you. Don't worry. You made it clear you don't want me in your life. And as much as I miss you..I don't want you to have the ability to hurt me anymore...which means not talking about you, not thinking about you, and not getting in touch with you.

You have a nice life...the one you chose for yourself..the one I have no place in.
I'm moving on..hadn't you heard? Tomorrow I'll jump out of a plane. Without you. Remember how we were going to do that? Just another promise you made that turned out to be a lie.

But I'm going to do it. And I'm going to think about you when I jump. I'm going to think about how you wish you were pushing me out..I know you do. Instead Matt will be there. Which is just fine with me.

Tomorrow night? I'll go on a date with John. John, the one I pushed out of my life for you. The one I hurt. Also the one who called me when I sent out a suicide note to my friends. Not the one who brushed me off, like you did. The one who told me that I deserve better, who said to me "You are the kind of girl that makes men feel afraid to be alone Jen." Poetry...I hurt him for you and he gives me infinite love and poetry.

But that's ok. I'll never turn my back on my friends again for a guy, you solved that for me.

I'm jumping out of a plane tomorrow...I'm so so excited...I wish it had been with you but you made your choice, and you've forced me to close my heart to you, the one person I never ever wanted to close my heart to.

Thank you for teaching me to be realistic the hard way.