I'm trying. I'm trying hard.

I'm trying hard to leave him alone. I know he has to go through this. I know it was too fast..I told him that. Know what his response was? "I know what love comes my way." Beautiful right? Geminis have a way with words. I've used them in the past for not so great reasons. I used to outwit and convince my ex fiance of my love for him when he would doubt. His doubt was true, but I used those beautiful words to make him believe what I wanted him to believe. After that relationship, I gave up using my words that way. I wanted only truth in my life. That's what I've had so far. My conscience is clear.

I know he is using his words on his wife. I know he's using them to convince her to come back, that he loves her. I know it..I know him. Again I know he has to go through this. There is nothing I can say or do at this point. I have to put my trust in our love, I have to trust him that when it comes time, he'll be strong.

Katie called him weak. She warned me that he's weak. She told me many things about him that I didn't believe. She tried to get me to hate him. I could never believe the things she said. I know he isn't perfect, but he's exactly right for me.

My mood is changing into something else. ... the pain is subsiding and a determination is setting in. Maybe I'm naive to still believe in fairy tales, to still believe that magic is real and possible, to believe that we are given a chance at a love so great that the obstacles to have it in our lives are astronomic. I've tasted it..I know it's there. I know who it's in. I know where he is, I know what he's going through. And I'm not going to give up on us. I'm not going to interfere, but I'm not going to shut down my heart. I can't. I love him with every fiber of my being. I love him from my head to my toes with every particle every possible inch of my soul that could possibly be engaged in loving him is dedicated to trusting the universe that we will be together one day.

Life would be too, too cruel a place to live in where a person would find this love then loose it forever after such a short time.

I can't believe the world is a place like that. I couldn't live in it if it was. So I will hope. I will stay. I will wait, patiently, for us to come together again. This time when he is truly ready.

I love you Mikey.